“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.” C G Jung from Modern Man In Search Of A Soul, 1933
Here we have a fairly prominent TV presenter who owns his avid dislike for a woman in the public eye. If you believe in free speech, so far so good. We are all allowed opinions.
My opinion, however, is that this person went much, much too far, his alignment to Game of Thrones was only obvious to those who watch it, to proclaim that all in his generation agree with him is simply false. Indeed, he simply gets more coverage – such is the nature of the press.
This couple, who have now made a six-part series on their demise and leaving from the family of origin of the husband has also experienced ramifications.
If this couple were sitting in front of us, she with a history of suicidal ideation, he with a trauma background, would many really be so vociferously anti them? Would we deny her allegations of racism and exclusion? Would we look at his trauma around his mother’s untimely death, and the nature of it – then add to this mix a miscarriage, while forming our opinions?
The bigger picture might be if we look at the family constellation and an uncle who, with now almost no further press coverage, has been accused of sexual crimes, is disclosed by the couple want to feel into and perhaps to take this further as to impact on them and the wider family. (He was accused of ‘sexual assault and battery’ on a 17-year-old. She, as an adult, says the three alleged instances of abuse continue to cause her “significant emotional and psychological distress and harm.”)
Again, if this woman was in front of us, would we deny her recounting of her experiences, endeavours, misapprehensions, cultural differences? If he was sitting in front of us, would we believe his narrative?
Such is the complexity of the work.
We enter the area of psychosexual work and may be faced with couples and individuals such as this, not necessarily those who are well known but people who are living their lives and bring to us the material we work with.
As psychotherapists we work with ‘what is’ and yet we are human, fallible, and wise.
“It is the client who knows what hurts, what directions to go, what problems are crucial, what experiences have been deeply buried.” —From On Becoming a Person, 1961
Would we also be encouraging them, the couple, to consider the options they have, the context of the others they are discussing, the fairness/legitimacy of all their various accusations and the impact on those people of announcing all their judgements to the wider world, particularly at a time of grief as experienced by both family and public. Trauma does not necessarily exclude the possibility of empathy and compassion to others.
This blog is not about whether you agree with Clarkson or like/dislike Harry and Meghan – it is about our work and what is required of us. To work with what is shared, to confront our own shadow, to look at counter-transference, and to challenge our disbelief in the narrative (if we do).
Through supervision,we will hopefully look at all of this, and a thorough history taking becomes even more vital so that, if appropriate, an empathic challenge can be offered to the couple/individual. Whilst equally being a container, a safe, confidential, and sacred space for all those brave enough to come and see us within the therapeutic domain.
Judi Keshet-Orr & Jean Miller
LDPRT Directorate.
Comments are closed, but trackbacks and pingbacks are open.